this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
