Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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