My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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