Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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