this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
