I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize