I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
