Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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