he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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