this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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