the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
