You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
that may or may not have been my penis.
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