quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
