At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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