Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize