just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
