I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
