Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
