mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver