I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.