i don't plan on having that self control this summer
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize