called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
