it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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