why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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