Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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