my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
