I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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