Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
