i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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