Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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