She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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