haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
