Kiss
Puke
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize