he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
