I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize