If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
