nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize