it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
