I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
handjob tips. give me some.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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