Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
