i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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