seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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