Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
