And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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