Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
