i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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