never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
