just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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