Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
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I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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