Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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