I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
