Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if only i could text you this smell
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize