he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
