Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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