You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
