I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
