I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
