Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
