You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
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