next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
