like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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