She tied me up with her honor cords...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
