He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
