I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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