the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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