I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
