The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
