god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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