Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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