I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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